I spend a lot of time thinking. Partly because I'm a very deep person, but mostly because I don't have any friends to talk to.


But this lifestyle of solitude in the name of humor leaves me with a lot of questions that I just don't know the answer to, so I'm going to take some time here and just ask the questions. Not to you, or anyone in particular. Asking them, just so that they're asked. After all, what's the purpose of a question, if no one actually asks it.

So here are some of my questions, there's many more where these come from:

What do vegans say when they get their picture taken?

What does the top of Shaq's head actually look like?

What would we call flies if they didn't have wings?

Why aren't there more french country singers?

Why isn't the color called 'carrot'?

How did Noah keep the two beavers from chewing a hole in the Ark?

How do we know where the deer like to cross?

What happens to all of those beach balls after a concert?

Why are glove boxes so big? Are we supposed to have really big gloves, or just multiple pairs of normal sized gloves?

Why do we have heart attacks? Why are our hearts so keen on attacking us?

Where do all the old cars go?

Why is Carson Daley on television so much, what is he hiding?