Yesterday we talked about jobs I could have where all I could do is judge people. We established that I couldn't be Santa Claus. But luckily I had a backup, being God.
Now I know what you're thinking but bear with me.
God judges people, that's a majority of his job. He's kinda similar to Santa come to think of it, I'm sure they have the same favorite holiday, Halloween.
God doesn't have a lot of day to day work either. I mean he created the universe, but that only took a week. And it wasn't even a whole week. I mean the first day he made the day and the night, but after building the day, the night part shouldn't have even been that hard (plus this is before he made stars or the moon, so the night was basically just 12 hours of not being day time). Plus how hard could it have been to make the day, if the sun (or anything else for that matter) wasn't there yet? So that's definitely a half day. Plus the seventh day was just a rest day. And after that, aside from throwing together some plagues and hardening some hearts (which honestly might have just been some natural plaque buildup) he kinda took a back seat. He sent his son down to do some stuff a few thousand years later, which I respect. He runs a family business, I can get behind that.
But the truth is, I can't be God, or Santa, for the same reason. And it's a pretty fundamental reason. They're both... you know... men with beards, and I can't grow facial hair.