syllabus week

By now you've probably all finished your first days of classes. And if this is your first semester you've realized it's the worst.

Don't get me wrong, college is amazing. But there are aspects of your university experience that leave a lot to be desired. The meal plans, the community showers, randomly chosen roommates (compatibility quiz my ass), or the stupid amount of dad's money that your education is costing you.

But by far the worst part about college is having to attend classes. And classes don't get any worse than syllabus week. Until dead week that is.

It's not that syllabus weeks are really that tough. You just have to sit there and listen to your professors introduce themselves. The problem is that every professor things that because they teach a class at a university they are automatically the most interesting person that their students have ever met. 

Have you been to a party where there was a girl who had just gotten married? She goes up to every person and shows them the ring, tells them how beautiful the ceremony was, recites her amazing husband's vows, then bores you to death with floral arrangements and bland menus (steak and chicken? wow, you really broke the fucking mold there debra).

That's basically your first day of classes, but instead of a outdoor reception at The Liongate and honeymoon in St Augustine your professor wants to tell you about their education background and work experience.

I get that you want me to know you're qualified to teach the class, but give us a break, just send us an email with your linkedin profile like the tenured ones do.


And I hate to break it to you Prof. Ericson, but your 'unique' teaching style that's 'different than any of my other professors' is actually the same reverse classroom bullshit that every classroom on this campus is going to follow.

Cut us some slack guys, we're paying to sit in a 250 person lecture hall that reeks of dining hall leftovers and body spray, so at least start the semester off by jumping into the course content. 

Every student wants to be friends with their professors, but none of us want to cram it into the first day of class. You have 18 weeks, it's a semester long music theory class, not a speed date.


It's a romcom, not an arranged marriage.