chinese food delivery guy

a weird thing happened yesterday. i met the dude who delivers me chinese food, outside of the normal circumstances. turns out we go to the same university, and we’re taking a class together.

at first i was pretty psyched, i’ve gotten pretty used to associating this guy with unhealthy servings of msg. but the more i thought about it, the more i realize i shouldn’t be friends with this guy. cause of tips.

when he was just a nameless dude who showed up 35 minutes after i called him with three servings of beef and broccoli, i didn’t have and issue with tipping the average amount. but now i know his name, and i’ve said more to him than “thanks for the food, drive safe or whatever”.

i miss my old relationship with chinese food dude. but now he’s bobby.

tipping delivery people is already stressful enough, because i don’t want to feel like an asshole, but i don’t know the correct amount. 20% sounds fine, but that only comes out to a couple of dollars when you think about it, and if there aren’t many orders that might not even cover gas.

and i don’t want bobby to think i’m cheap if i mess up the tip amount, plus now i have to feel bad every time i make him drive the two and a half blocks from my apartment to the restaurant, which is usually a two or three times a week (i’m trying to get fat, see previous post)

a poem

I wrote a haiku about three months ago, almost. i decided to try a acrostic instead

F- is for fish, they swim in the sea

I- is for ish, kinda like you and me

S- is for sh, you don’t want to wake them

H- is for,

hrmm

anyway merry christmas

oatmeal

every monday i walk through the math and science wing of one of buildings at my university. and every monday at 8:30 am the whole place smells like oatmeal.

i dont understand how someone could eat oatmeal every morning like that. sure its quick and easy to make, and i guess you could keep a ton of it in your desk or something and make a little batch in the kitchen. its probably a cheap breakfast.

i would get sick of it. i dont even like oatmeal when im out to breakfast or camping, and i certainly wouldnt want to eat it every day at work.

i think there is something wrong with people who enjoy eating oatmeal. and why do they call it hot cereal. its just hot goop. if you want to have hot cereal boil some kashi. thats hot cereal.

some people like eating bland foods. they must be trying to punish themselves or something. theyre denying themselves flavor. thats a lunatic thing to do.

have you ever eaten ramen without the flavor packet? thats what oatmeal is like i guess. but a lunch version. maybe that math professor has that for lunch. and plain egg noodles for dinner, no butter or anything.